The Cult of the Watermelon

Sometimes (well most times) we engage in mental ahhmm playing, and there is nothing more frightening that when the conversation starts to feed on its own hyperbole. As such, we are pleased bring you the manifest for a new religion. Feel free to adopt it as your own, bearing in mind that we do request 10% of all ongoing revenue from any new religion we may formulate, and for clarifacation in the finer points.. well, who cares? I mean really, who cares?!? This cult came about due to us not having anything better to do really, so we are pleased to present to you, in an almost working form.. THE CULT OF THE WATERMELON! (We must all bear some of the responsibility)

1. We must all wear hollowed out watermelon shells as hats.

2. All fellowship members must attend spiritual meetings with lampshades on their heads.

3. To show our disdain for corporatisation, we have to commit mass suicide in a MacDonalds.

4. We must point and laugh at all people different to us.

5. Every Tuesday we have to hop on the left foot all day and eat nothing but worms.

6. We must all eat henna dip and drink yaks milk on Wednesdays at 11.45.

7. The Great Salvbard-Watermelon seed will redeem us from earthly toil, and will take us to the great watermelon and lampshade farm in Nirvana.

8. At ceremonial occasions we must end the evening with the ceremonial dance (the dance of the drunken watermelon) doing an imitation of a russian cossack dance with a toilet roll on our heads.